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hiding the sexual relation

The current AOC laws lead to the consequence that every pedosexual relation has to be hidden from other persons. This may be harmful especially for the minor:

It is not possible for the child to discuss problems related with this relation with other persons of trust (parents, teachers) without risk of persecution.
The child can fell blame, guilt because it hides this relation from his parents.
The fear of beeing detected leads to stress.

This fear, combined with internalized prejudices against sex, can lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

In a pedosexual relation there the minor knows the adult, the adult needs some safety that the minor does not tell anything about the sexual aspects of this relation. But the question how this will be established is essential. There will be different possibilities:

There are possibilities which violate the rights of the child:
- Threats
- Incorrect information about the consequences.
It seems necessary to protect children from such behaviour.
But it is not necessary to use such methods to prevent the minor from telling anything.
- The correct information about the real consequences is threatening enough.
- The pedophile can require a promise from the child not to tell as a necessary condition for (before) making sex with him. This has a double effect: More security for the pedophile caused by the voluntary promise not to tell and an additional control that the child really wants the sex (because it has done something - given the promise - to have the sex).
- Usually it is simply self-evident. The minor has already learned not to talk about sex.
In these cases, we cannot accuse the pedophile of threatening the child. It is the society and the AOC laws which are responsible for the harm caused by fear.

The fear of detection may turn a consentual relation into a nonconsentual. Simply assume some quarrel or other problems which may occur in every relation. In such a situation, the pedophile might be afraid that the minor will tell about the sex to his parents or the police. Dependend on the possible penalty, the behaviour of the pedophile in this situation may be very dangerous for the minor.

The fear of detection and the possible harm caused by this fear will increase with the penalty of the AOC laws. Thus, one possibility to decrease it is to decrease this penalty.

The other possibility is a strong observation of the right of privacy of the child.

Indeed, a pedophile which really loves the child and has only fully consentual sex with the child is usually sure that the child does not want to send him into prison. Thus, he will not be afraid that the information about the sex may be used by the child to send him to prison. That means, if a persecution is not possible against the will of the child, it is not so necessary for his security to hide the sexual aspect of the relation.

Mike <Mike@alpha.c2.org>