Strange Bedfellows
Why Male Girllovers Ought to Stop Hating Women
Whilst male girllovers profess to have a special attraction to young girls, they often harbor less noble feelings for adult women, ranging from ambivalence to antipathy. This is often the case even if the woman is herself a girllover. Whilst some of these less than positive feelings may be understandable to a certain degree, they are neither necessary nor consistent with girllove. The primary reasons for these feelings tend to be: negative experiences with women in the past; a distrust for the motives of women; a dangerous tendency to forget that girlhood and womanhood are inextricably intertwined. Rather than focusing on one’s perception of the negative traits of women, it would be beneficial for male girllovers to look at the positive aspects of womanhood as a key to understanding the nature of girls and strive to learn about girlhood from women who, after all, were once girls themselves. This way, they can better help girls to become women with a positive outlook who are proud of both their womanhood and their bodies.
They Hurt Me
Many male girllovers do not realize their true sexual orientation until they have experienced a series of relationships with women. Unfortunately, many of these relationships end badly, often due to the fact that the man can not find total fulfilment in the relationship. This is often because his true attractions lie elsewhere and this fact in turn leads to him being a less-than-ideal mate for his partner. Indeed, some men who profess to be attracted to girls may very well be directly as a result of bad relationships with women.
Unfortunately, however, it seems that many of these men throw out the baby with the bathwater, cultivating a distaste for women which eventually far exceeds any hurt they may have experienced in their relationships. It is very easy to focus on the negative aspects of people and relationships, whilst forgetting or ignoring the good. It is also difficult to face the reality that it takes two to tango, and that any negative traits which came out in their women partners may well have been brought out by their own negative attitudes or behaviors. This is not to say that women are blameless; it is merely a statement that they cannot and should not be blamed solely for any failed relationships.
Therefore, instead of arriving at the conclusion that all women are bad, or even that certain women with whom one has had relationships are bad, it would be better to examine the reasons for such failures. Did the fact that one has a pedosexual orientation affect his behavior towards his partner? Did the woman’s feelings of inadequacy which she may have felt from a partner whose true interests lay elsewhere have an affect on her behaviour?
Other girllovers may have had difficulty attracting same-aged partners in the first place. Rather than resenting this fact, they need to ponder the reasons why they were unsuccessful. Did they subconsciously send signals that they were not truly attracted to adult women? Is their way of relating with other people suitable for children but unnatractive to adults? If so, it is not the fault of womankind that they were unsuccessful, but a product of their true feelings for young girls.
A Girl In Every Woman
It is truly unfortunate that many male girllovers choose to have hostile feelings towards women. Just as society often chooses to apply negative stereotypes to amarsi (pedophiles), many male girllovers choose to apply negative stereotypes to women. Like members of some other sexual minorities, it appears that some male girllovers feel that they must despise what society considers to be their primary attraction group in order to ‘validate’ or ‘prove’ their feelings for girls. This is not only unecessary, it is inconsistent with girllove.
Rather than seeing women as an enemies, male girllovers ought to see them as what they truly are: girls who have ‘grown up’. Whatever masks individual women may choose to wear, there is still a girl in every woman, a person who wants to be loved and accepted, who still looks at the world with wonder. Becoming a woman does not necessitate killing the girl within. Indeed, many of the most successful women are those who have learned to accept that girl rather than trying to push her aside or ignore her.
When male girllovers cease to see women as adversaries, they can learn much from them about the girls they love. Women know what it is like to be a girl, are more in tune with the unique feelings that girls have and are thus able to read a girl’s signals more easily than men. They know girls’ bodies, understand the changes that take place in them and know what feels good to those bodies.
Learning from the experiences of women is one of the best ways to avoid behaviors that could cause harm to come to young girls. The fears, hurts and disappointments that women remember most poignantly may well be the ones girllovers can help girls to circumvent or at the very least get through with a minimum of pain. Their joys and triumphs are good indicators of places they can look to make the girls they love as happy and content as they can be.
A Woman in Every Girl
It is important to remember that just as there is a girl in every woman, there is a woman in every girl. Womanhood is not an option for girls; it is an inevitability. Nor is it something to be feared or to be ashamed of. It is something that every girl ought to look forward to and be proud of. The mission of true girllovers, therefore, should be to help the girls they love to reach and enter womanhood with as positive an attitude about themselves and their bodies as is possible. Girllovers should never try to hold girls back or give them any reason to believe that what is happening to them is bad. This is nearly impossible if girllovers themselves have negative feelings about women and their bodies.
Rather than thinking that maturing girls are ‘leaving them behind’ girllovers should be observing with wonder as new facets of their relationships reveal themselves. One needs not discard the rosebud once it begins to open; it continues to be beautiful, albeit in a different way. A girl in bloom is a wondrous thing. She deserves all of the support and praise that she can get! She may at times be uncertain or unsure of herself. Therefore it is the duty of those who love her to let her know that she is still beautiful and that she can be proud of who she is becoming.
Girlhood and womanhood are not separate; they run along the same continuum. The girl one loves does not vanish once she is a woman. Her lover can continue to love her even when she is no longer a girl. Indeed, she is likely to have very positive feelings about the girllover who encouraged her as she grew into a woman rather than tried to hold her back in her girlhood. Giving her the freedom to make this life change is probably the most valuable gift she can receive and can have a crucial impact on how she views herself as a woman. A girl’s happiness as a woman is a truer test of a girllover than her happiness as a girl.
Girlhood is temporary; love need not be.