PROTECT YOURSELF FROM ABUSE
Introduction. All of us kids are
susceptible to being abused. The latest statistics indicate that 99.01% of kids have been
victims of abuse at some point in their lives (other statistics say that 100% of adults
continue to be abused all of their lives and they also say that the victims later on
become abusers themselves). The abuse is facilitated more easily within the family or in
close circles, neighbors, teachers... The abuse will create permanent problems for you for
the rest of your life, be aware.
Symptoms of abuse: restlessness,
nervousness, lack of interest in school, discussing topics not age appropriate, excessive
curiosity with regards to sex, physical complaints, fear or dislike of certain people or
places, sleep disturbances, headaches, school problems, withdrawal from family, friends,
or usual activities, excessive bathing or poor hygiene, return to younger, more babyish
behavior, depression, anxiety, discipline problems, running away, eating disorders,
passive or overly pleasing behavior, delinquent acts, low self-esteem, self-destructive
behavior, hostility or aggression, drug or alcohol problems, sexual activity or pregnancy
at an early age, suicide attempts, copying adult sexual behavior, persistent sexual play
with other children, themselves, toys or pets, displaying sexual knowledge, through
language or behavior that is beyond what is normal for their age, unexplained pain,
swelling, bleeding or irritation of the mouth, genital or anal area; urinary infections;
hints, indirect comments or statements about the abuse, crooked stares, lack of sincerity,
continuous lies, excessive interest in TV and video games, wanting to run away from home,
hatred towards adults, symptoms of mistrust towards grownups, excessive fantasies,
daydreaming, writing a diary, writing poetry, listless stares, leaving a room when your
father enters, stopping from speaking with your friends when an adult appears... In
other words, all of the symptoms that you have. It is quite clear that you are the victim
of abuse, the statistics never fail.
What constitutes abuse? There are many
types of abuse, the most extensive (and the worst) is over-protection, that they think
that you are not capable of managing yourself on your own. Abuse usually has many
variations, physical and corporeal punishments, the imposition of an ideology or of a
religion, the imposition of norms of conduct, the imposition of a set place in which to
live, and of a family to have to put up with. A person abuses you who does not permit you
the right to 
intimacy,
to have your own personal free space, your secret drawer, your intimate diary, your own
thoughts and feelings. Whoever forces you to love them, commits abuse ("I am your
father and you have to love me"), whoever forces you to give them a kiss that you do
not want to give, to smile when you don't feel like it, to be happy and play when life, at
that moment, sucks. Whoever forces you to maintain a sexual relationship against your will
commits abuse (this is the only abuse that seems to matter to the well-thought minds).
Whoever impedes you from loving whomever you love, and from setting your own limits in the
relationship, commits abuse (the majority of adults don't consider this abuse, which is an
abuse in itself, since they deny you the right to love and to sexuality; the one who
forces you to have sexual relations that you do not want is as much an abuser as the one
that impedes you from developing emotional and sexual relationships that you want, and
with whom you want). Whoever tells you not to touch yourself or that you are not old
enough for certain things, when your instincts and your hormones are telling you something
completely different, is commiting abuse. Whoever tries to make you feel guilty for being
who you are and for having the needs that you have, is commiting abuse. Whoever treats you
like you were a toy and transmits their own mood to you, whoever thinks that they have
rights over you, that you are their property, whoever thinks that you are still not a
person with your own human rights, is commiting abuse. The legislator that creates unjust
laws based solely on age, and impedes millions of children from finding their own paths,
under the pretext that one must protect their childhood, is commiting abuse. Whoever keeps
you under a regimen of scholastic authoritarianism, based solely on the accumulation of
knowledge and forgetting feelings, who loads you up with unreasonable homework, is
commiting abuse. Whoever is forced to live with you and is incapable of loving you or of
transmitting feelings of affection, who thinks that love consists of imposing rules,
norms, habits and laws, commits abuse. Whoever does not respect that you are different,
that you have your own norms, your own ideas, commits abuse. Whoever does not let you make
mistakes, whoever thinks they know what is best for you and impedes you from experimenting
on your own, commits abuse. Whoever forces you to obey them with your eyes closed, like a
little lamb, who demands submission, respect, servility just because of the fact that they
are older than you or because they have some related ties with you, commits abuse. Whoever
offers you love, security, material well-being or protection in exchange for obedience,
commits abuse. Respect must be earned, not imposed. Whoever tells you that what you feel
is not appropriate for your age or your sex, commits abuse. Whoever tells you that your
feelings are not the appropriate ones and that "you cannot feel that", commits
abuse. Your feelings are yours, whatever they may be, and no one has the right to judge
value upon them. Whoever impedes your growth and wants you to keep on being an insecure
and dependent baby all of your life, commits abuse. Whoever insults you or ridicules you
or tells you that you are useless or undervalues you, commits abuse. You have value in
yourself. Whoever talks to you about intelligence as an important factor in your life,
commits abuse. Only the imbeciles believe in the myth of intelligence.
How to recognize abuse? You will notice
abuse when someone makes you cry and you've done nothing wrong, when you get feelings of
annoyance, of rage, of hate, when you feel impotent and humiliated, when you don't
understand anything of what is happening, when you feel sad, when your guts tell you that
something is not going right, when you are afraid...
What to do when confronted with abuse? Since
the State is usually the most abusive of all and is only scandalized if sex is in the
middle, if you are abused in any other aspect it is better if you do not go to the
Administration, it will only be worse for you and that will surely leave a mark on your
future. If you are a victim of sexual abuse, the police will gladly help you (they love to
appear on TV). If you are a victim of some other type of abuse, the best thing you can do
is to impede them 
from
eating your brains, don't let them infiltrate your mind, maintain yourself free in spite
of everything. Also don't even think about calling one of those telephones for children's
aid (unless you want to goof on them), they are truly social control centers and generally
sponsored by highly puritanical groups. When I want to have some fun I call them (it's
free) and I tell them macabre stories. I have realized that in reality the only ones that
interest them are the sexual ones (if you stick priests and nuns in the middle, they love
it; if you tell them that your gym teacher is feeling you up in the locker room it will
fill them with joy and they will try by whatever means to get all possible details from
you. They are charming, the experience is worthwhile). Avoid adults getting into your
private life (utilize PGP or any other encryption software on your PC, have your friends,
and above all your girlfriends, write to you on an encrypted diskette). Treat your
teachers for what they are. Don't let your Aunt Harriet smoother your face with drool
("how much you have grown...!"). Tell your father what you think of him (but
only after getting your weekly allowance, his love is not so unconditional as it may
appear to you), maintain yourself upright inside. You have the right to your own
personality, to follow your own path. You don't have to settle accounts of your actions to
anyone, except to yourself. Don't accept the role that your parents or teachers have
decided to give you, you can be the leading character in your own life. Don't let them
sour it. All of the labels and adjectives that they say about you are pure lies. You are
who you are, you don't need qualifiers placed on you since the only thing they accomplish
is to mark you and limit you forever. Surely someone loves you, you are worthy of love and
respect, open your doors to love and close them to indifference. Openly admit that you are
not perfect, that you have questions without answers. Life, in spite of all its efforts
against it, is wonderful. If you have any doubts, write to me: I may not be able to solve
your doubts, but together we'll shit on all of them.
(20 of july 1997)
"Liberty is not conceeded, it
is conquered"
Assertive Rights
INDEX FOR KIDS ONLY