Louis C.K.

Louis C.K. from his television show Louie

Louis C.K. is an award-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and filmmaker. He has contributed comedy writing to a number of movies and television programs and his career has produced bestselling comedy albums, specials, and the comedy-drama series Louie. C.K. has won three Peabody Awards, three Grammy Awards, six Primetime Emmy Awards, and a Screen Actors Guild Award as well as numerous awards for The Chris Rock Show, Louie, and his stand-up specials Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) and Oh My God (2013).

In 2017 amidst the #MeToo movement, C.K. admitted to several incidents of sexual misconduct following the release of an article in The New York Times. His feature film I Love You Daddy, about a man's teenage daughter who is seduced by a much older film director, was subsequently pulled from distribution. His stand-up comedy has been noted for his frequent commentary on sexual matters and jokes about pedophilia.

Quotes

• "We had a town child molester, his name was Jean Baptiste... He liked teenage boys... I was a teenage boy--he didn't like me, I felt a little bad."

• "Child molesters are very tenacious people. They love molesting childs, it's crazy! It's like their favorite thing! When you consider the risk of being a child molester... there is no worse life available to a human than being a caught child molester. And yet they still do it! You can only really surmise that it must be really good. I mean, form their point of view! It must be amazing for them to risk so much!"

• "We're so scared of pedophilia because it's here and it's not going anywhere, that's a fact. It's not like there's a finite amount of pedophiles and "we got the last one!" No, it keeps happening. Every generation there's more. Some of you have kids and some of them are going to grow up and fuck kids. They might, you know? Okay, of course, not yours, for some reason. But they're coming from some place. Any real solution has to start with the basic reality that there will always be pedophiles."

• "Our solutions that we have so far don't really work... There's no measures for preventing it, none. We have no policy to prevent pedophilia, not even just a street sign. There's a street sign for everything, no hunting, no spitting, no skateboarding--I've never seen a "don't fuck a child" sign, I've been all over the world. Not even just a picture of a guy fucking a kid with a line through it so that it transcends language barriers. I mean, try it!"

• "There's things that might work and we don't even try them. Like is anybody working on very realistic child sex dolls? [audience boos] Okay, then let them fuck your kids forever if that's better! I'm so sorry for suggesting something that might actually work!"

• "Boy Scouts--wonderful thing--being sued out of existence because of all the kid fuckery that goes on. And I know it's upsetting, because the Boy Scouts is a wonderful thing for kids, they go to the woods, they work together, they learn skills, they get in touch with nature. What could be better for a boy than that? But some of those guys want to fuck the kids... I think it's mostly that they find out that the guy wants to. I don't actually know though. Do you know why I don't know? 'Cause I'm afraid to look it up! I'll go to prison for typing it into Google! How do you solve a problem if you're afraid to fucking look it up?"

• "At some point you gotta wake up to the basic fact that maybe the people who are best suited to give your kids these wonderful experiences are folks that wanna fuck 'em. Maybe that's why they're good at it! If you want that, that's where you go, maybe that's just the way that goes! Who else would want to take a bunch of kids to the fucking woods?... Who else would want to do that except people that are barely containing that they want to fuck every kid in the face? That's why they're good at it! That's what makes them good at it! I'm not saying that all scoutmasters are pedophiles. I might be saying that the best ones are. That sounds right."

• "Take the contribution from where it comes. Michael Jackson, blessed us with wonderful music, did some other things too. Look, what's worse, a pedophile who makes beautiful music or one that doesn't? This is the choices. "No pedophiles" is not on the menu."

See also

• List of MAP jokes and humor