Accounts and Testimonies

This list is intended to be used as evidence of positive relationships, and also to demonstrate that when harm does occur, it is not caused by the activities themselves if such activities are thoroughly non-violent and consensual. Please note that this is not intended to be an unbiased and wholly accurate study of sexual activities between minors and adults. Accounts vary in credibility, some of them being anonymous (the reasons for which, may be understandable) and others being the spoken or written word of one or more known persons. We also act as a hub for other publishers of said accounts.

The accounts are divided into sections for easy retrieval, and may require an archive search if the links have fallen dormant.

**Inside** - Scotty Bowers had multiple experiences: "Abused? absolutely not; this is bullshit, man! There's no such thing as someone ruining your life when they suck your cock [...] even as a little kid, I saw nothing wrong with that"

Minor-Adult experiences

Testimony: Adult Male with Minor Female: Man-Girl sex experiences.
Inside: "Why should I feel guilty about the wonderful relationship I had with that man ... right up until his death?."

Testimony: Adult Male with Minor Male: Man-Boy sex experiences.
Inside: "It was clear that it certainly felt good to both of us. ... In some way it was a real lifesaver, because it made me feel that love and affection and closeness and sex would be possible in my life. ... when we were together, it was like a little oasis where we could be ourselves."

Testimony: Adult Female with Minor: Sexual experiences of youth with women.
Inside: "The only fault I find with that part of my sexual education was the limit her guilt and fear put on our pleasure, the heterosexual pressure even she felt required to put on me. What she did "for my own good" caused both of us pain. If I were to improve on that experience now, it would not be to protect children from adult seduction but to make adults easier to seduce, less burdened with fear or guilt, less defended by hypocrisy."

Testimony: CSA (Children's Sexual Advances): Focuses on some, but not all of the cases where the younger partner made an advance.
Inside: "It developed over time and was great. We became friends and I invited him over once when my parents weren't home. I practically had to force sex on him because he was afraid about losing his job. Ended when I went away for the summer and he wasn't a teacher at my school no more."

Experiences among children and youth

Testimony: Expressed childhood sexuality.
Inside: "I have naturally craved sex...sexual touch, through all stages of my conscious life. I do not remember any phase during my childhood, when I was without sexual attraction and arousal. It was very natural, and spontaneous. I never disliked it, though I learned to hide it from others."

Testimony: Non-expressed childhood sexuality.
Inside: "The experience of sexual arousal as a child [at 6] is one of my sexual experiences. Whenever my girl friends and I would look at books while playing, I would always choose the book Little Black Sambo. The picture I am referring to is that of the tiger chasing Sambo around the tree as he is melting into butter. The tiger has previously taken all of Sambo's clothes. The sight of the nude little boy's rear end is what excited me."

Attraction as an experience

Testimony: Experiences of chronophilias.
Inside: "I was open minded then about willingness to change my sexual orientation and participated sincerely but, of course, discovered that sexual orientation is deeply rooted in a person's being and not subject to behavioral modification. All this program did was exacerbate cognitive dissonance and create a great deal discomfort with myself, deflating self-esteem."

Other publishers of accounts

Other websites and texts exist, in which individuals testify of sexual experiences and attractions between adults and minors, and also youth sexuality. The resources here supplement the above lists, and may have some overlap:

Consenting Juveniles - New website focusing on verified accounts of high-profile individuals - bravely endorsed by numerous professionals.

Jumima - A new site documenting 200+ man-boy experiences.

The male adolescent involved with a pederast becomes an adult - Ralph Tindall PhD (9 accounts).

Theo Sandfort - Landmark study of a number of man-boy relationships.

The Man They Called a Monster - Paul Wilson's book about a man who specialised in casually seducing boys.

JackinWorld Biographies - Short sexual autobiographies focusing on masturbation. Many examples of expressed and unexpressed childhood sexuality.

Archived here or elsewhere

Positive Memories (a freely available book, now withdrawn from publication due to the author's personal situation) - Similar resource with around 150 accounts and some overlap. See also web archive for html versions, and this archive.

PRD - Over 40 accounts, translated from German.

Also, see our other archive, Child's Perspective: From Cerius.org.

All About Sex - "Abuse and trauma" isn't the only section of this long-abandoned board, but as can be seen, most of the (unverified) experiences do not match that description.

My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies. Nancy Friday (Simon & Schuster, 1973). A collection of women's fantasies obtained through letters, tapes and personal interviews. Contains a large amount of frank, non-condemnatory discussion on sensitive topics such as sadism, bestiality, childhood sex, and sexual fantasy from childhood to adulthood.

Girls with adults, or others

The Clitoris - Females on early sexual experiences.

BK Girls - Only some of these are stored in the archive.

Boys or others with men

Age Taboo - Many accounts, varying greatly in type.

BL.net - The forum provides a large number of positive anecdotes.

Testimony: BoyMoment - A small number of anecdotes.

Men loving boys loving men - Multiple man-boy accounts (Researched by the gay activist Gerald Hannon)

Gallery

These excerpt graphics document verifiable positive experiences (information on record about publicly known individuals).

Kate Winslet - Positive Memories (15 female with 28 male, straight sex (f-m))
Clarissa Dickson Wright - Consenting Juveniles (6/7 female with seaman, straight sex (f-m), masturbation, discovery, but absence of secondary harm)
Heather Corinna - Consenting Juveniles (15 female with 25 male, straight sex (f-m), partner's suicide caused by secondary harm)
Karin Spaink - Consenting Juveniles (13 female with 21 male, straight sex (f-m), minor took initiative)
Beatrice Faust - Positive memories (minor female with adult male, straight sex (f-m))
Nikki Prescott - Consenting Juveniles (15 female with 18 male, straight sex (f-m), ended in marriage despite adversity of investigation)
Beth Kelly - Positive Memories (8 female with female (great aunt, widowed), lesbian sex, close, long-term relationship)
Ranveer Singh - Deccan Chronicles (12-16 male with older females, straight sex (m-f), saw it as status among his peers)
Roger Baldwin - Consenting Juveniles (12/13 male with female house maid, straight sex (m-f))
Kirk Douglas - Consenting Juveniles (15 male with female teacher, straight sex (m-f), he cited a transformative effect upon his life)
Ike Turner - Positive Memories (6-12 male with multiple older females, straight sex (m-f), including an initiation)
George Hamilton - Positive Memories (12 male with 28 female (stepmom), straight sex (m-f), never felt "dirty")
Joel Grey - Jumima (10 and 12 male with much older adolescent males, gay sex)
George Takei - Jumima (13/14 male with 19 male, gay sex)
Jorge Gonzalez - Positive memories (13 male with 21 male, gay sex)
Dan Savage - Consenting Juveniles (15 male with multiple males, gay sex, initiated by minor)
Tom Driberg - Consenting Juveniles (13 and up male with multiple males, gay sex, initiated by lustful minor who became a politician)
Harry Hay - Positive memories (14 male with older male, gay sex)
William A Percy - Consenting Juveniles (14-17 male with multiple males, gay sex, initiated by minor)
Ivo Von Hove - Positive Memories (early teen male with older male, gay sex)
James Dubro - Positive Memories (14 male with 22 male, gay sex) with a long-time pederast who he never knew to act abusively
Kirk Read - Positive Memories (13 male with adult male, gay sex - a relationship that helped him accept himself and convinced him that an age gap does not automatically mean abuse)
Samuel Delaney - JUMIMA (6 male with adult male, gay sex - an experience of non-penetrative sex)
Mark Medlock - JUMIMA (8 male with 32 male, gay sex - initiated by the minor himself who became a popular singer)